Terezi's Visitor
by choyaheart-deactivated
Summary: In which a golden girl escapes using her terrible magic to a strange world with a strange forest. Trying to find a way back to her loved one, she stumbles upon one Terezi Pyrope. Rated Teen for mentions of physical and mental abuse and quite a lot of profanity. Contains an OC of mine, so don't get all up in arms about a character you don't recognize. Tread lightly.
1. Chapter 1: Avoid the sun, find a house

**Disclaimer: Homestuck © Andrew Hussie 2009. I am not affiliated with Hussie or the official Homestuck team. Take your lawsuit somewhere else.**

Chapter 1: In which the golden girl avoids the sun and finds a treehouse containing one (1) troll.

Regina fell on the ground with a light thump. Tears leaked out of her eyes as she yowled silently with pain. In using her elbow to catch herself as she had fallen out of the escape Gate she had opened, it had been torn to shreds, spilling blood all over the place. Her blood hissed and ate through the plant material, quite effectively cleaning her elbow and forearm.

Whatever, she thought. It'll probably go septic anyway. One thing her stupid species hadn't out-evolved from their ancestors was the ability to have almost any cut infect itself within hours and to die of that infected cut within days. If she died, people would cry and never forgive themselves, so she had to find antibiotics-and fast.

As she trudged through the blue-and-pink forest, scuffing her red retro sneakers, the sun beat down. She thought of what she was doing before she had 'escaped' to here, wherever here was. Activating the last vestiges of her dragon magic, (even thinking about it that way sounded stupid), she had made the largest portal ever made- a universe-hopper. She couldn't even remember what her shaking finger had scribbled on the router, just some loops and lines.

Against all odds, she was crying again.

The sun, which, as you recall, was beating down, had only increased in intensity, making her fair skin tan. Her scar itched. She also REALLY needed to eat. If she didn't, a lot of bad things would happen and a crummy juncture would come into effect. So. The list was:

Find some damn food before shit happens.

Get some antibiotics before you die.

Find somebody's house to either break into or sleep near.

She was in luck. Regina found a pretty good quartz rock and bit down. The quartz tasted like manna from damn heaven, and she was super hungry. She ate the entire thing, coughed up some impurities, and resumed walking. (Like hobbits, Regina's species had to eat at least six times a day or suffer the consequences.)

Again, the Lady had decided to spare her. She found a giant tree with rotting (dragon?) plushies dangling from it on ropes and several grey 'rooms' attached. There was a giant net with more of the oddly dragon-like plushies in it, attached to a large platform in a pulley system. The setup was pretty smart, she had to admit. She scratched her scar, a huge ropy thing like a choker made of tragedy, and sneakily lowered the platform. Or tried to, at least. Her lousy goddamn stick arms couldn't bear the weight, and the platform came crashing down on her foot.

"OW!" This was followed by some incoherent grumbling. She limped onto the platform and immediately decided not to. Instead, she said a quick prayer to the long-deceased Queen Of Dragons, her patron, and opened a small Golden Gate. She sketched a reasonable portrait of the door of the residence, and jumped through.

Breaking into someone's house. Jeez, Regina. You've really gone off the—_**SHUT UP!**_

Regina did not feel like a queen. She felt like a tired, dirty, terrified little girl with a terrible motive for breaking into someone's house. Which she was, but she wouldn't think about that. Ya girl was used to surviving. As she drove her nails through the thin glass of the door, something on the other side made a wet slopping sound and grumbled. She froze like a demon deer in headlights. A leaf from the tree drifted on her elbow, (the scraped one) and it went numb. Oh. An anesthetic. She wrapped her bleeding arm in leaves and waited.

Nothing else happened, so she slipped through and immediately passed out on the carpeted floor.


	2. Chapter 2: A Civil Discussion(not)

**Disclaimer: I still don't own this Homestuck thing. I swear, really. Hussie does.**

Chapter Two: In which the girls meet and have a civilized discussion. Not.

Regina Aurum Nocte awoke. She felt like hell. More accurately, she felt like the eighth level of hell, which was the level where they gave you a migraine headache and a large dose of cyanide. Her head snapped up as she realized where and how she was: In a bare room. Tied to a chair. With, like, weakass hempen rope. Oh SHIT. She needed to eat, and ASAP. If not, we would run into a crummy juncture. A real crummy juncture. Really.

A sudden sound made her jump, startling her before the reader could be given any more information.

"SO, W3'R3 UP, HUH? YOU W3R3 SOOOO CUTE (The speaker obviously didn't mean that) SL33P1NG, _YOU F1LTHY CR1M1N4L!" _A gavel was pounded passionately on a wooden table, and some clapper lights came on. Regina didn't even bother looking up to see her captor's face, but she appeared to be sitting in a tiny interrogation room.

"What." Regina croaked. She trained her yellow eyes on her captor's form, finally. She was wearing a lot of red, in the form of a cape and pointy, mirrored glasses. Her skin was a dusky grey, and she had very dark hair with two pointy horns of ombre colors. Her face was round and she was grinning with rows of pointy teeth, which looked very soft. Not good for eating crystals like Regina's.

"OH, B3 QU1ET. H3R3 AR3 YOUR CHARG3S! NUMBER ON3: BR34KING 4ND 3NT3R1NG! NUMB3R TWO: W4K1NG M3 UP!" More gavel. This girl was really going to town with that thing. "NOW, WH4T DO YOU HAV3 TO S4Y FOR YOURS3LF?"

"Uh, can I get something to eat—oh no." It was too late now. Welp. This law-obsessed psycho was going to have to suffer the consequences. She doubled over and made a very quiet, but wholly terrifying sound. Far off in the distance, she heard a now slightly concerned-sounding voice.

"L3MONSNOUT, DO YOU KNOW WH4T'S GO1NG ON? F1LTHY CR1M1N4L, AR3 YOU ALR1GHT?"

_Regina: Flip the fuck out_

_Terezi's POV_

"F1LTHY CR1M1N4L, AR3 YOU ALR1GHT?" I ask. Even for being such a blatantly filthy criminal, she sounded…wrong. I went to check on her, putting my hand on her back. The girl was still bent over, and something black was dripping from her mouth, by the smell of it. Suddenly, she straightened up, and where I could previously smell placid white around her golden eyes, there was only madness black. I stumbled backwards as she ripped the extremely strong rope that I had used to tie her to the chair for her interrogation. She smelled like…well, like an angry dragon.

She quickly located the door and tore through it, gaining unreal air as she jumped through. I started to sigh, but that sigh was dislocated by a scream when I smelled her tail. What. The. Hell. Who-or what- was this girl? Roaring was heard as she tore down several dragon scales I had on my walls. Of course, it was a roar issued from a very small throat, but it was a roar nonetheless.

I was reminded even further of a dragon, but that was impossible. She had a trolliod shape, and had even seemed sentient for a while before she went absolutely insane. Highblood maybe? I was interrupted in my thoughts by the sound of more crunching. This kid had ripped half of my poor dragon scale decorations off of the walls, by the disappointing smell of it. "M-MY D3COR4T1ONS!" I protested, but she only growled and crunched them up, a musclebeast-fluid coagulate smelling blur. Black fluid was everywhere, coming from her wounds, her mouth, and her eyes. Gog, it smelled terrible. She ate one last scale, making a horrible crunching sound, and fell face-forward on the floor, in a very comical fashion, apparently having eaten her fill.

In hindsight, I definitely should not have sedated her. That was not a just thing to do. I gathered her up, and put her in my recuperacoon. That would do. For now, at least. "NOW, TO CL34N TH1S UP…URGHH, WHY D1D SH3 H4VE TO M4K3 SUCH 4 M3SS? "

_Regina's POV_

Regina felt quite a measure better. After getting too hungry and succumbing to Life Defender Mode, a state of being in which the body's only goal is to eat and survive, she didn't feel so weak anymore. She was also full and warm, and was floating in some kind of very calming green ooze. Her blood and tears were floating in the slime, dissipating throughout like milk through coffee. Her elbow had not gone septic, and was indeed scabbed over, a black patina on her skin. (It must have been the leaves.)

The psycho prosecutor dragon-idealizing girl had apparently decided to do the smart thing. She wasn't as bad as some other weirdos Regina had met. Maybe if she got over her whole 'judge, jury and executioner' complex they could work something out. A smile graced her lips as she thought of others she had made friends with in her travels. But the one she yearned for the most was still out there, along with a stable life and a nice slab of charred bloodstone. Yeah. She could hope for that. A girl always needed something to hope for, right?

She stuck her hand through the surface of the liquid and grabbed onto the edge of the bathtub-like sleeping device (or so she assumed), using her lousy goddamn stick arms to hoist herself up.

The odd girl was sitting in a corner, and besides that Regina could smell several types of crystal on the wall in the form of dragon scales. "Huh." She said aloud. "Must be a different type of dragon." Regina self-consciously felt her tiny horns underneath her very fluffy hair. Oddly, the slime hadn't stuck to her at all, and she was just a bit damp. The girl looked up suddenly from her corner next to two red-and-white canes—the type usually issued to the blind by hospitals and physical therapists. Regina would know. They were the type used by her little sister before _**SHE **_killed her. (Don't dwell on that, sweet girl) Oh, shush.

Regina looked at the girl, and the girl looked at her. Or, turned her head towards her, I guess. Finally, the golden girl spoke up.

"Umm, my name is Regina and I'm so—"

"SHUT UP. 1'M T3R3Z1, 4LSO KNOWN 4S _TH3 G1RL WHOS3 HOUS3 YOU BROK3 1NTO, YOU H1GHBLOOD NOOKS4CK." _Oh. So she was still mad.

"Ahh, what's a highblood? I'm really sorry, but I was about to die and I would have done so if I hadn't chanced upon your house and—"

"OH, COM3 ON. 1 KNOW WHAT A BLOODRAG3 LOOKS L1K3 WH3N 1 SM3LL ON3! ST4Y ST1ll FOR A B1T." She grabbed one of the canes, one that appeared to have the head of an albino dragon cast on it in plastic, and pulled it apart to reveal two gleaming swords imbedded within. Oh shit. Regina was pretty sure Theresa (was that her name) wasn't going to kill her, but if she tried, she was going to meet the same kind of crummy juncture she had met before. Just in case, she unsheathed her fingernails.

Theresa(I'm still not sure that's what she said)dug the tip of one of the blades into Regina's palm. As usual, her thick black blood spurted out, not unlike the tears in her eyes. Whatever her name was took the blade and stuck out her tongue, tentatively licking the blood. Not the smartest thing to do, woman. "URGGHH! WH4T 1S TH1S? BLUH!" She spit the blood out and attempted to scrape it off of her rather blue tongue.

"Do you…routinely eat… blood? Because if you do, you may want to avoid mine." The other girl opened her mouth to speak again, but Regina put up her hand in a 'shut the fuck up' gesture. "Listen, do you want me to explain myself or do you want to, frankly, keep torturing me? Yes or no?"

"…F1N3. 3XPL41N."


	3. Chapter 3: Crystals and Gay

**Disclaimer: Homestuck still exists in 2019, despite the fact that I don't own it. Sigh.**

"So." Regina said, starting from the beginning. "Well, I am a traveler. (Lie. Your are an escapee.) From, like…another whole universe? I…uhh…was in a very dangerous place and was getting hurt, so I ran using my 'inborn magic'. I'm not whatever 'highblood' means to you, because there is only one kind of blood where I come from. My species only eats—"

"DR4GON SC4L3S :?"

"No. Crystals. So, I am here now."

"OK4Y, 1 KNOW TH4T. YOUR S1LLY BLOODR4G3—"

"Not a bloodrage, I was getting to that. If we don't eat for more than a day, or more than two hours if you're me, than we start to starve and our bodies try to find food the best we can, which constitutes tearing apart anything that we smell with our noses-(and here she tapped her own rather large one)-that resembles a crystalline atomic structure.

"But really though, what is a bloodrage?"(Can you ask her who 'Vantas' is? Is that her patron?)

"W3LL, G1V1NG YOU TH3 B3N3F1T OF TH3 DOUBT, _MY _SP3C13S H4S LOTS OF COLORS OF BLOOD, 4ND TH4T'S OUR C4ST3 SYST3M. P3OPL3 H1GH3R ON TH3 SYST3M SOM3TIM3S GO 1NS4N3 WH3N 4GGR4V4T3D. TH3N SOM3BODY 31TH3R D13S OR….SOM3TH1NG 3LS3 H4PP3NS. 1 DUNNO. 1T N3V3R H4PP3NS TO M3, THOUGH. NOW H4NG ON 4 S3C, I H4VE TO M3SS4G3 SOM3ON3."

"I'm so sorry."

"1 KNOW."

Theresa (listen I think she pronounced it differently) pulls a chair up to a truly disgusting purple computer. She licks the screen over and over again. Huh. Must be an alien thing. She starts typing like the world is about to end, muttering. Regina was never one to pry, so she only sneaks a sideways glance at the screen. True to her word, she's messaging someone.

"Hey, uhh, I'm gonna go quarry for some food, I would offer you some, but…"

No reply. Regina heads out the door, sniffing for phosphophyllite. Amethyst would do too, she supposes.

_Terezi's POV_

You pull up Trollian and attempt to select one of your friends that can a) get over to your hive quickly, b) deal with aliens, and c) not act like a giant bitch. She's not your first choice, but definitely a levelhead, and there's no revenge cycle between you. Whatever.

\- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling grimAuxiliatrix[GA] -

GC: SO 1 H4V3 A PROBL3M

GA: Terezi I Would Love To Assist But I Am Currently Wooing A Very Smart Person And I Would At The Very Least Like A Chance With Them

GC: 1 DON'T CAR3! 4N 4LI3N SHOW3D UP 4T MY HOUS3 L4ST D4Y 4ND TH3N PROC33D3D TO FL1P TH3 FUCK OUT. 1 NEED YOU TO WORK YOUR MAG1C ON H3R.

GC: 4ND BY MAG1C 1 ME4N CH41NS4WS.

GA: A Human?

GC: 4 D1FF3R3NT K1ND. E4TS ROCKS. FL1PS TH3 FUCK OUT SOM3T1M3S FROM WH4T 1 G4TH3R.

GA: That Sounds Interesting However I Will Not Bring My Saw Instead I Will Bring My Scathing Sarcasm Of The Newly Learned Human Variety

GA: I Am Doing This For Purely Educational Reasons Are You Aware?

GC: B3 H3R3 W1TH1N TH3 N3XT HOUR.

\- gallowsCalibrator[GC] has ceased trolling grimAuxiliatrix at whenever, we don't care -

Suddenly, my door slams open for the 2nd time in two days. The filthy criminal stumbles through, arms bowed underneath what smells like several pounds of mint- and grape-smelling things. Her fingers and nails are covered in dirt, and she very courteously offers me a very scintillating purple chunk.

"I know you can't eat it, but it's the best one I have, and I think you would like it as payment?" There's no blush on her cheeks at all. I take the purple rock , inhaling its delicious purple aroma. "TH4NKS, 1 L1K3 1T! 1T SM3LLS L1K3 R1P3 GR4P3S!" I grin like a sandy water deathbeast. The rock is placed by my husktop. Perhaps I don't need to kill her to get her off of my hands. She seems reasonable enough.

_Regina's POV_

_Minutes in the future, but not many…_

After eating my hard-earned First Lunch, I just sat around and waited for something to happen. In my experience, my luck sucked so hard that if I just waited, something interesting would happen. Sure enough, a suspiciously polite and courteous knock was heard from the other side of the door. I narrowed my eyes and coughed a bit.

"OH, STOP YOUR S1LLY P4R4NO1D WORRY1NG. 1T 4LR34DY ST1NKS OF L1COR1C3 1N H3R3 3NOUGH W1THOUT YOUR BODY JU1C3 3V3RWH3R3. 1 JUST 1NV1T3D 4 FR1END OV3R."

"…Hnnngghh." Regina punched her own throat to stop the involuntary growl. The door was politely opened, and an air of grace, compassion, and homosexuality washed through the room as a lovely young lady stepped through the entryway. Regina looked up at the newcomer and saw a bob haircut, long, pointy horns, and a red maxi skirt, among other things. The newcomer saw golden hair, gray freckles, and suspicion, among other things. Regina slumped.

This whole situation was large amounts of bullshit.

_Kanaya's POV_

I looked from the unexpected visitor to my apparently irate friend. It was not often that she wasn't laughing and taking everything in stride, but it was happening. As usual, her curtains made me want to eject the contents of my breakfast with their mismatched colors and patterns. I say the first thing that comes to my mind.

"Why Is There An Enormous Tunnel At The Foot Of Your Hive?"

Terezi looked at the golden fluffy child with a scathing blind glare. The child blushed, her face filling with a midnight shade of…black? So she was truly a different kind. She whined,

"There was a veeeiinn! I couldn't noooot!" She received a rap on the head with a cane for her troubles. The golden girl rolled on the ground, holding her head. I walked over to Terezi and whispered, "Why Did You Ask Me To Come? You Obviously Have This Under Control."

_Terezi: Fly off the fucking handle._

"1T 1S _**NOT **_UND3R CONTROL! TH3R3'S 4 **G14NT HOL3 **1N TH3 FRONT OF MY H1V3! TH3R3 1S D1SGUST1NG FLU1D 1N MY R3CUP3R4COON! TH4T PSYCHO—

_Regina's POV_

"TH4T PSYCHO—"

She's a psycho. Psycho prosecutor dragon idealizing girl. "How could you have killed her?! YOU _**PSYCHO!" **_("How could you have made that decision? You're a psycho! You don't deserve to be queen!")

It keeps happening.

(It does.)

Let's leave.

(Let's.)

Regina, angry tears forcing their way out of her obstinate eyelids, opened the door and jumped out. "YOU ARE _GAY_." She shouted to the long-horned bob girl, who blushed. Then she leapt down and made her escape.


	4. Chapter 4: Seeing What's There

**Disclaimer: No. **

Feet pounding across the forest floor, Regina knew she was being childish. The problem was that she didn't actually care. She heard the whirring of a chainsaw faintly from years of enhanced hearing caused

by having to avoid her mother and her electric footsteps.

Her scar itched again. She ran faster. She wasn't thinking about anything, not energy consumption, not her patron, nothing. Leaves drifted down slowly from the blue-and-pink trees. It was night, for your information. The ground rose, or perhaps that was Di Regina Dracones letting her run on all fours.

Her gait was chaotic. Like her mother's smile at the parties.

Regina was the queen of the forest. No, she was a street urchin. No, she was the empress of everything. No, she was a enslaved servant. Yes, she was both. No, she was nothing. Yes, she was psychotic. She saw things. She believed in patrons. No, she was stable. Yes, she was hurt. No, she could heal. Yes, she COULD heal.

One thing she was, however, was tired. Tired of the luck of gold. Tired of her magic. Of the Golden Gates. The Aureum Portas. Tired of the language of the dragons. She didn't stop.

Like the unforgiving remote control.

The whir of the chainsaw was quieter. Regina climbed a tree. Slowly. Lousy goddamn stick arms.

From this perspective, she could see everything. She could see that she needed to accept it all and move on to the next part of her life. She saw that she was fourteen. She needed to accept some degree of responsibility. She also saw that crying wasn't that bad. It felt like her insecurities were dripping out of her eyes. Di Regina Dracones appeared and wove her body up the tree, head and shoulders coming to rest next to her patronee. They sat, there in the tree, as the sounds of the saw got closer and closer.

_Reader: Wonder why this is still in the Homestuck category. _

We will get to that. Let them rest. Jegus.

_Terezi's POV_

I didn't know that my damn day would turn out like this. Racing a destructive little wiggler through the forest with Kanaya Maryam, of all people, trying to prevent the wiggler from getting to the city and getting herself killed. I stop to rest, Kanaya skidding to a stop by me.

"Oh" She whispers.

She takes my hand and points upward with it, so that I smell a golden light coming from the tree above me. A giant dragon is curled up around it, wings and all. It's made of tasty butterscotch light, and the daffodils-and-licorice girl is sitting on a bough. Kanaya shuts her chainsaw off, but still keeps it in saw form, just in case.

_Regina's POV_

"You know," Regina said. "I really could have used you before she went too crazy." (I know. I was waiting for someone else.) "Who?" (My son. He never wanted to be a patron, but he was your sister's. When she passed, requiescet in pace, he went to dragon heaven. That's all I needed.) "You never told me." (Yeah. That's a problem.) "At least you address your problems. I had to wait until somebody named 'Terezi' triggered my 'psychosis', i.e. actually having a dragon ancestor." (It's not your fault that they diagnosed you with that. When you get to the age of four billion, you forget about important things like that.)

_Terezi's POV_

Aaaand now she's talking to herself. Right now we are just sitting here, twiddling our thumbs, and waiting for her to stop talking to nothing. Any other day, this would be hilarious and I would be pretending to ham it up with her, but I, as you know, have not been having the best of days. I feel very surly, and am channeling the Karkles energy.

Suddenly, I'm startled out of my thoughts by the sound of Kanaya yelling.

_Regina's POV (No, not that Regina, the other one)_

The godly dragon queen had finally noticed the two troll girls observing her and her patron. She scoffed and glyphed, "(This is private. Go away.)" When there was no response, she growled, an otherworldly sound perceptible to everyone. She slinked down the tree, leaving her best friend in all the world, her patronee, behind. She lumbered over to the girl with the chainsaw (a pretty new invention, but who's counting?) and gave her a glare that used to topple entire legions of lesser dragons. However, the godly dragon queen was dead. Kanaya only saw a golden mist in front of her. She still felt the malevolence of the gaze, though, and yelled,

"Who Is There?!", sweat beading on her well-painted brow.

_Kanaya's POV_

I was not having a very good day. I should never have come over to Terezi's.

_Regina's POV (The first one)_

I'm still in deep thought. I need to just get up and go, and accomplish things that I want to do. I want to vanquish evil, find a way to a home, and explore the multiverse. I want to stop annoying these hot ladies, and maybe score some treasure. I also want people to stop diagnosing my magic as psychosis. I mean, come on. We're descended from dragons, people. There are people with actual psychosis out there, and I ain't one of them.

I was in a weird state of mind there for a while, huh? Almost like getting possessed. But really though. I might be asexual, but these ladies are kinda awesome.

Anyways, I feel like I owe the teal one a debt. I crashed in her house. And destroyed it. Hanging down by my non-scrawny legs, I got an upside-down view of my patron attacking (the best she could) the chainsaw lesbian. Oh no. Oh no you don't.

"Ey, ey! Break it up!" I yell. I fell from the tree branch and scrambled to my feet, placing myself between them. "Listen, I know I've been acting like a hatchling idiot, and I may _be_ a hatchling idiot, but you both are not. Can we just, like, figure this out?"

"YOU TOR3 4P4RT MY HIV3."

"Didn't we agree that we would fix that?"

"I Think That You Should Do It Alone, And Besides, It's Only The Front"

"You see? We can get along! Also, can you not say 'psychosis' again?"

"SUR3. BUT YOU AR3 CL34N1NG MY H1V3."


	5. Chapter 5: You've Seen, Now Get Out

**Disclaimer: This is Hussie's bullshit.**

Back at Terezi's hive, Kanaya made her leave and I filled in the giant hole I had quarried with left over soil, and made sure to make it stable and walkable. The grass would regrow, I supposed. Was it even grass? It was pink, so…. Eh.

Inside, I started to painstakingly glue together the shards of dragon scale to make a sort of mosaic and draped it over the wall. Luckily, I'm a pretty messy eater, so there were lots of shards of every color. I also fixed the door to the interrogation room. How? Well, airlift service is actually very reputable in this place, so I paid for two new doors and a lot of that green slime.

Apparently my patron knows carpentry. Who woulda known?

I met Terezi, for real. She took a nap and awoke feeling a lot better, apparently. Also she has the magic power of making things disappear and reappear in a psychic inventory? I asked her about it and she made the usual quizzical face and said, "1T'S 4 SYLL4D3X, DON'T YOU H4V3 ON3?"

"No…?" Again, I was forced to wonder who, exactly, was the crazy one here.

She gasped comically and then gave a wide, toothy grin. From underneath her desk, she pulled a box full of softly glowing…fl…oppy disks?

"YOU C4N T4K3 TH1S ON3, 1 N3V3R H4D H41R LONG 3NOUGH TO US3 1T (gott4 k33p 1t l3g3sl4c3r4tor short), BUT BY TH3 SM3LL OF 1T, YOU DO! H3H3!"

She pulls out a dusty cardboard box ("SM3LLS L1K3 POWD3R3D HOT COCO4!) with the words "Limited Edition Hair Modus(NEW! 5 CARDS INCLUDED! WOW!)(Must have adequate hair length to operate)" printed on it in big shiny holographic letters.

"So…what do I do?" I ask, taking the box. There was a yellow card with a generic hair icon on it and the words "ARRAY" printed on it inside wrapped in plastic wrap.

Terezi smiled like she'd been waiting for this all day. "JUST TOUCH 1T W1TH YOUR SQU1SHY L1TTLE P4WS!"

Ignoring her statement about my 'paws', I unwrapped the plastic wrap and booped a finger to the surface of the incorporeal card. Immediately, it disappeared, and reappeared a few milliseconds later in my peripheral vision. Five blank cards were available for use.

"Heh. This is cool. Thanks, Terezi!" A rare happy Regina presents herself.

"NO PROBL3M." Her toothy grin only became toothier, exposing her entire mouth. How this was possible, I had no idea. My own teeth were unable to even manage a full-toothed relaxed smile, or else they started poking through my lips. Addiction is a powerful thing.

I picked up a screwdriver and, reading the instructions on the box, simply shoved it straight into my copious hair. The tool appeared in the psychic inventory system on a card, and upon closer examination, the card had a code on the back in typical captcha form.

Terezi, who had been smelling over my shoulder, said, "Y34H, 1 DON'T KNOW WH4T THOS3 DO."

"Could be like, some kind of secret code to unlock that item?"

"TH4T'S A GOOD TH3ORY, 1 SUPPOS3." Her tone of voice is perpetually amused and laughing. It's impossible to figure out what she actually means by that.

"It's been nice destroying and rebuilding your home, but I really do have to go…" Pulling out the well-loved De Symbolis Libri (book of symbols) from my waistband where it had appeared mere minutes before, (That nasty little bugger had a habit of getting lost) I began to flip through the pages idly.

A blunt star. A rose on fire. A pair of wings made of tiny blades. A pixelated red heart. These cheerful visuals promised to take me to different worlds by way of portal. I could leave at any second with these, and the book said that simpler symbols usually led to nicer places.

So, that little cheery star was probably a safe bet.

I was interrupted by Terezi picking up my poor tail and almost breaking it. I squawked and rolled backwards, clutching the offending limb in my arms.

"H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3! DR4GON T41L!"

"That is not funny or cute." In an attempt to stop my face from showing any mirth at all, I fail miserably. "Gah! Dgsfdhhfbnnnn!" Sounds of extreme pain follow, as I accidentally grin and let my teeth completely pierce my lips. Never was a great kisser, I suppose. I carefully move my jaw to slowly retract my teeth into my mouth again, and now both my mouth and my butt are hurting.

Suffering through the people, for the people. (You sound bitter.) Bittersweet.

"SO, YOU'R3 GO1NG TO L34V3?"

"We've been over this. Yes. As soon as my lip heals, which shouldn't take that long. Maybe a day."

"GOG, YOU AR3 SO PRON3 TO FUCK1NG YOURS3LF UP 1T M4K3S M3 ACH3 TO LOOK 4T YOU! L1K3, S3R1OUSLY, YOU MUST H4V3 GOTT3N TH4T SC4R FROM TR1PP1NG OV3R!"

"…That wasn't me." I make my eyes go threatening and dark, fixing her with a death stare that I know she can smell. "You must have something you don't like talking about, too. Leave my scar alone."

"TH3 PH3R3MON3S COM1NG OFF YOU AR3 SURPR1S1NGLY…HMMM…_M4L3VOL3NT ;] _YOU'R3 R1GHT, W3 ALL H4V3 OUR S3CR3TS, 1 SUPPOS3."

"I'm surprised you know what pheromones are." I was not.

"YOU AR3 M34N."

Getting up from the floor and retrieving the wrench, I started to walk around aimlessly. I needed to store a lot of energy so that I didn't immediately go nuts on the world that was unfortunate enough to house me, and so I set out creating a huge stockpile of crystals from outside of Terezi's house and the leftovers of my minty grape First Lunch.

Cherry quartz? Check.

Amethyst? Double-check.

Agate? Check.

Jasper? Check.

And, of course, my all-time favorite food: citrine.

With a bit of guidance from Terezi, I 'captchaloged' the PILE OF VARIOUS CRYSTALS. It apparently was not magic, as there was no magic here, only 'WH1T3 SC13NC3'. What a load of malarkey. Not only are there more colors of science, but according to my increasingly disprovable patron, magic is a universal constant. So there. Take that, ya teal-and-red gremlin.

Oh, what am I even saying.

As I packed up and got ready to go (read: practiced on a piece of paper), Terezi set about getting ready for bed. Apparently she's nocturnal. The more you know.

I focused my mind. It was more about intention than anything else, and at this point I didn't even have to pray at all. My finger swept through the air, cutting a huge circle across Terezi's living space in molten gold light. I set to drawing the star, getting all of the rounded points just right. I always felt more confident while doing this. I could maybe-probably even do it in front of a large crowd.

There was always a drawback, however. As I drew, a tattoo was burnt onto my skin in the shape of a house with a detached window and no door. Right on my hip. Always a damn drawback. At least I got to be a badass about it.

JK. I was totally crying.

I stepped through the portal, ready for once.

**Author's note: You may be wondering why I have given you absolutely no information at all about this story or myself. **

**I'll say it right here: I do not believe in long author's notes on every chapter when the reader is trying to digest the story. **

**This is a series. You will find more on my profile, if you are interested. **


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